Well-being In Your Wedding Planning Part 1: Why Self-Care is Essential for Brides

In this inaugural episode of Hey Bride, we're peeling back the layers on a topic that's close to my heart and crucial for every bride-to-be—why self-care is essential during the wedding planning journey. If you're in the thick of planning your special day and feeling overwhelmed by endless decisions, if the joy in your journey has become overshadowed by stress, or if you're silently questioning, "I thought planning my wedding would be fun?" then, darling, this episode is for you! 

We're diving into the common causes of wedding planning stress and talking about what it takes to reclaim your joy and well-being. I'll be candid about my transformation from a 'hot mess express' to a life and wellness coach and show you how these lessons are profoundly relevant to your wedding journey.

Over the next four weeks, we dig into the essence of well-being—mind, body, and soul—offering simple, actionable strategies to experience a shift in how you feel, quickly. rom the empowerment of letting go of rigid expectations, to creating meaningful rituals that honor your journey, we're addressing it all. 

Ready to transform your wedding planning from a hustle to a journey filled with joy and personal growth? Check out this episode's resources:

• Take the temp of your wedding wellbeing https://alifecoachforbrides.com/
• Learn about the work of Bryon Katie at https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie
• Get 30 days of Self-Care prompts in your inbox https://alifecoachforbrides.com/challenge

Limited Time Offer: Join a Small Group Coaching Session!

Ready to revolutionize your wedding planning experience? For a limited time, I'm offering exclusive "Sip & Solve" group coaching sessions for just $25!

Here's what you'll get:

• Intimate, supportive conversations with fellow brides
• Breakthrough strategies for your biggest wedding challenges
• Mindset shifts to rediscover the joy in planning
• Actionable steps to move forward with confidence

Spots are extremely limited and fill up fast. Don't miss this chance to transform your wedding planning journey!

To secure your spot, visit: https://alifecoachforbrides.com/group/

Remember, your extraordinary wedding starts right here!

Transcript

Episode 1 Why Brides Need SelfCare

[00:00:00] Planning your wedding might be one of the most exciting chapters of your life, at least to date. But it's no secret how quickly it can become overwhelming. Be honest. Brides are often the one creating and checking off the to do list. From finding, scheduling, and securing the venue, to deciding who does and doesn't get a plus one.

[00:00:27] And not because you don't want to include everybody, but because you're also the person in charge of managing the budget. The decisions are never ending, and with all of the stressors and pressures that come with planning your wedding, it's easy to place yourself at the bottom of your own list. And that, my friend, is why self care is an act of self love and crucial.

[00:00:53] for brides. Hey bride, whether you just said yes to marrying the person of your dreams, or you're in the thick of planning your wedding, this is your podcast. I'm Amy, your go to life and wellness coach. And this isn't just a pep talk. It's our weekly heart to heart. We'll navigate the emotions that come with planning a wedding, share laughs.

[00:01:24] I couldn't think of a more aligned way for me to begin Hey Bride podcast than to talk about what we're going to get through in the next four Weeks. If you're not nurturing your mind, body, and soul while you're going through this transition, because that's what this period of your life actually is, you're burning the candle at both ends, and you're going to overextend yourself.

[00:01:52] So, establishing a daily self care practice or routine that you actually want to go to isn't just a really good suggestion from a life and wellness coach who cares. It's actually essential to you experiencing the wedding journey that you envisioned. This episode kicks off a four week series that explores self care as an act of self love and we will impact your experience.

[00:02:20] That is my promise. If you listen and you take action, how you feel will If you are a stressed out bride, if you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're frustrated, if you're disappointed, this series is for you. Today's all about the basics. It's a bird eye view of the situation. The root cause of why you're not feeling good, why you're not loving this.

[00:02:46] The why, where'd the joy go in my journey? The, I thought this was supposed to be fun. If you're having those kinds of thoughts, consider this episode as the why. We're going to talk about the root causes of dissatisfaction in your wedding experience. Now you might be thinking, Amy, there's no possible way you will know because you don't understand my situation.

[00:03:10] I don't have to. Here's the truth. No matter what you're going through, You can feel better. If you aren't the type of person who is already pouring into yourself every day, this series is going to be life changing. Ten years ago, I was a hot mess express, and I am not being dramatic. If you knew me, You would be like, how dare you get behind a mic talking about how to live a life you love, or how to do basically anything.

[00:03:48] I had chronic anxiety, panic attacks a few times a week sometimes, insomnia almost every single night. I had a complete lack of self awareness. I made terrible decisions. I was almost always overstimulated and would blow up at my kids. I have ADHD, a whole I had a ton of abuse related trauma that I never dealt with, a complete lack of self awareness.

[00:04:15] I was honestly a mess. And if you're asking yourself, Amy, what does this have to do with me and my wedding? Keep listening. In these next four weeks, we're covering topics of well being across the whole spectrum. Mind, body, and soul. And everything in between. I'm going to shine a light on the source of your frustration and start giving you simple strategies to work through it so that you can notice a shift quickly.

[00:04:48] What I'm saying is that your circumstances don't have to change. Your budget doesn't have to increase. And even with little or no support from the people you thought you would count on and would want to celebrate and be a part of this, if you don't even have that, You can have a better journey. It begins with self care.

[00:05:11] When you're waist deep in wedding planning, you are busy. It is easy to forget about taking care of yourself. I get it. It's not because you don't think that you're important, because you know you are. It's for the reasons I already listed. You are probably in charge of all the decisions, and that weight is heavy.

[00:05:35] But here's the thing. Self care isn't a good idea, or a luxury. It is necessity. It's the fuel that keeps you going. Without it, your journey is a hustle. With it, You can transform this planning process into a series of moments that are full of joy and personal growth. Yeah, I said growth. Ma'am, this is a moment of life transition.

[00:06:00] Things are changing. You are changing. A marriage is a commitment. You are becoming somebody's wife. So, what does that even mean to you? A lot of us get so caught up with having to decide what vendors to use and booking venues and all of the decisions that we don't even think about the fact that our life as we know it is changing.

[00:06:27] And how you navigate these challenges that you face right now, that will shape the person that you are becoming. It doesn't matter if you are 21 or 64, whether this is your first or fourth marriage, you are starting a new chapter of your life's story, and it's up to you to write the pages. Well, what does it take to be your best, to do your best, to show up as your best, to give your best?

[00:06:57] Self care can be your partner in this. It will be a comfort and keep you grounded. It will give you courage, help you sleep, and manage the challenges you face. Self care can keep your nervous system from being chronically overactive, allowing you to actually be present and savor this. It can help you avoid from becoming a hot mess express yourself, like me.

[00:07:23] Back then, before I knew better, Because that is the truth of it. When you know better, you do better. If you are not a person that prioritizes your well being every day, don't be hard on yourself. Nobody probably told you how important this was. Nobody showed you. No one led by example. Let this podcast Be the example and the invitation to get started.

[00:07:55] What the wedding industry isn't talking about is well being, and well being has a profound impact on how you experience this. So, I'm gonna talk about it. It is the purpose behind Hey Bride. It's why I shifted my entire coaching business up until March. I focused my life coaching on personal growth and transformation and then I said yes to Adam.

[00:08:25] He's my husband. Our wedding was in June. It was a three day wedding weekend. Um, I have four kids. I'm 41 years old and this was my third marriage and the first one that I had a beautiful relationship with myself. I love myself now, whereas before, I loved myself, but I wasn't showing myself love. I was showing myself a lack of self worth, and I did a lot of healing.

[00:08:56] I did a lot of self worth. Self help stuff. I worked with a therapist. I did the things and in the process I changed my life started a relationship with him uprooted my family and moved to Michigan and We got married this June and while I was planning my own wedding I like you was in the Facebook groups what I saw broke my heart And so I shifted my business and decided right then and there I was ending Roots Change Podcast, or at least putting it on pause, and I was talking to you.

[00:09:32] Hey bride. Imagine looking back on this, not with relief that it's over, or feeling happy that you got through it, but a sense of accomplishment for how you grew and the memories you created. That is the power of self care and wedding planning. It turns stress into strength, and chaos into cherished moments.

[00:09:58] It's not just about surviving the process. It's about thriving in it. But how do you make sure that you're giving yourself the nourishment you need across all facets of your being? How do you keep track when there are so many moving parts? How do you even know what area to focus on first? Well, I got you.

[00:10:24] There is a tool a lot of us life coaches use during consultations or first coaching sessions. It's called the life wheel or the wheel of life. It's basically a tool that helps us to very quickly understand someone's current satisfaction level in different areas of their life. We're talking financial happiness, relationships, um, intimate relationships, friendships, just basically look at all different areas of a person's life and they rate them.

[00:10:58] They rate how satisfied they are with it. So this life wheel will give insight to the actual And if you're a client, that's super great because you get a sense of what coaching is all about, and you leave having already deepened your awareness, and that alone is empowering. Some people can create transformation for themselves just by knowing what's going on.

[00:11:25] I was one of those people. I didn't have the luxury of working one on one with a coach. When I created my transformation, I used their tools. I self helped the shit out of it. And self awareness was definitely key. So I took that tool and I reconfigured it for you. I call it the wedding well being wheel.

[00:11:51] And it's basically a personal well being checkpoint for brides that you can use on a consultation or by yourself on the A Life Coach for Brides website. It asks you a series of questions very quickly, it only takes a few minutes. And it takes the temperature of your well being as it relates to different areas of your wedding.

[00:12:14] It reveals to you the areas of your life that might need a little love and attention. So if you don't know where to start, but you know you want to prioritize yourself, and you know self care is one way of doing that, all you really need to do today is go rank how you feel in these different areas. And we cover things like the dress, the budget, and the relationship with your partner.

[00:12:43] It literally takes a few minutes, and I want you to know, when it comes to your life, the goal isn't perfection. When it comes to your wedding, the goal isn't perfection or performance. This is about awareness, balance, taking steps, no matter how small, to ensure that your well being is a priority in the thick of it.

[00:13:08] Just like a car needs a balanced wheel to run smoothly, just like you need to remember to get your oil changed every three to seven thousand miles, your wedding journey needs balance in all aspects of well being. Mind, body, soul, and everything in between. And we're gonna cover all of that in the next three episodes.

[00:13:32] But you do not have to wait to hear what I have to say or to go research it to experience a shift. Just by evaluating your well being right now, by deepening your own awareness of how you feel in different facets of your life as it relates to planning your wedding, your body's gonna do what it was made to do and it's going to swing into action.

[00:13:58] Whether you're conscious of it or not. You will probably, almost with all certainty, start thinking differently about how you feel, about the decisions that you make. You might actually go into making decisions differently. Who knows? The possibilities are endless, but just knowing can make a massive difference.

[00:14:22] Now that I sold you on the wedding well being wheel, you might be wondering what's next. How do I use this newfound awareness in a way that actually makes a difference in my journey today? It's one thing to see where you're at, and it's another to recognize in real time. that there's a problem. Real quickly, this is what I mean.

[00:14:44] Self care is like a tool that we use to strengthen our well being, to maintain a certain level of well being. And with self care, I have two roads of doing that. There are self care practices that are part of our daily routine, and then there's something I called PRNs because it's the medicine that we need in the moment.

[00:15:11] How do we know when we need to go to self care? How do we know when there's a problem? Well, our body tells us. It's up for us to understand the cues. Let's talk briefly about something for brides specifically. Let's talk about burnout. This is more common than you might think. It creeps in quiet. It gets mistaken for a rite of passage or just part of the process.

[00:15:41] If you go into any bride or wedding group on Facebook, you can spot a bride who is burnt out in less than 30 seconds of a scroll. Aren't all brides super stressed? The answer is no. Some stress, yes, of course, you're going through a new thing. This is a life transition. This is an important event. You're facing new things.

[00:16:05] So yes, some stress is fine. It's normal. It's actually good. It means that you're working how you're supposed to. But chronic stress? That becomes a bigger problem. It can start with a feeling of being constantly overwhelmed. You might actually tell people, I'm so stressed. I'm so overwhelmed. You might feel like it's impossible to enjoy what should be a happy time.

[00:16:31] You might find yourself disconnected from the joy in your journey. Every decision is a burden, another weight for you to lift, and it hurts, and it's heavy, and my god, this is too There's also physical signs, headaches, trouble sleeping, a weakened immune system. So if you are telling people that you're always stressed, that you just can't make the decision, that you can't sleep at night, if you notice that you're getting headaches or you keep getting colds.

[00:17:04] These are signs of burnout. These are not planning woes. They are signals from your nervous system urging you to slow down, to nurture yourself fervently. It's not a sign of failure. It's not a sign that you did anything wrong. It just means you are overextending yourself and it's time to do something different.

[00:17:29] Acknowledging the signs is a step towards empowerment, towards feeling better. That's how you know, oh, okay, I keep saying I'm super stressed. I keep getting this dang headache every time I go to make a decision. That's your body telling you that there's a problem and it's an opportunity to say, Hey.

[00:17:51] Something's going on. To truly have the experience that you want, to feel the joy, the excitement, and the love that this time is meant to bring you, you need to take care of yourself. So are you willing? If you're stressed, if you're disappointed, if you're wondering if the wedding you envisioned will be worth this, I can tell you where you're heading, and this is your crossroad.

[00:18:20] As this episode comes to a close, I want to leave you with a small yet powerful act of self love that you can do right now. Assuming you're not driving, if you are, just come back to this. It's simple, it's quick, and it can make a world of difference in how you feel, and it's something that you can do in the moment.

[00:18:41] If your chest feels tight, if your heart feels heavy, if your eye is twitching, if you're feeling super pissed, find yourself a cozy spot. Maybe it's in a corner of your living room and your favorite chair, or at the head of your bed covered in pillows. Basically, just find a place where you can snuggle up, snuggle in, I like to sit on a chair where I can plant my feet on the ground.

[00:19:11] I like to feel close to the earth. I'm all air in my natal chart. And, uh, so, which means I'm a lot in my mind and so I need to feel grounded. So if you're like me, probably sitting in a chair, sitting straight might help. Put your feet on the ground so you feel connected to the earth. I like to put my hands on my heart to show myself love.

[00:19:35] It feels nourishing to me. And so if it feels good for you, I would do that right now. And then when you're ready, we're gonna take four deep breaths and elong our exhales. If you're somebody who gets panic attacks, if you're someone who has a lot of anxiety and you've never really done breath work, maybe Do four seconds in and four seconds out.

[00:20:01] Even that will help. I, I don't know what your circumstance is, but breathing is actually a trigger for my anxiety for whatever reason. So at first, these types of things actually felt very difficult for me. Um, but if it's not a thing for you, what we're doing is elongating our exhalation. We're just, it, It activates your parasynthetic nerve.

[00:20:25] It tells your brain that it's safe and you can calm down. I'll walk you through it. We are going to inhale for four seconds, exhale for six, and repeat it four times. Inhale for 1, 2, 3, 4. Exhale. Two, three, four, five, six. Inhale for two, three, four. Exhale for two, three, four, five, six. Inhale for one. 2, 3, 4, exhale for 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and last time for 2, 3, 4, exhale 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[00:21:31] I can't tell you how good this feels for me and my body. My shoulders drop, I just feel lighter. And I do this, uh, I do this a lot. I even sometimes do it while I'm walking, which is another option if you're not so keen on starting any type of breath work. If you can, lace up your shoes. and go outside and take a walk around the block.

[00:22:00] Self care is simple. It doesn't have to be overly complicated or hard. You don't have to effort through it. It's honestly just small acts that nourish you in simple ways. I have something else to offer you, another little tip, a gift, to help get you started on this whole prioritizing myself journey. And it comes at a cost, not a monetary one, it's free.

[00:22:28] It comes with having to make a choice. Daily to show up for yourself in some small but meaningful way kind of how we just did right now That was you thinking about yourself and how to feel better. It was you telling yourself That you're worth the time, that you matter. And I want that choice to be easy.

[00:22:51] You'll find in my show notes, or in the episode description from wherever you're listening, I have a series of links. We actually covered a lot in these twenty some minutes, and I like to point people in the directions where they can take it a step further. Some of those are other people. One of these links is a self care challenge from yours truly.

[00:23:14] They're delivered to your inbox and they start whenever you sign up. These are short pep talks or words of encouragement with a self care prompt attached to it. Just a little inspiration and A way of reaffirming your intention to create change for yourself, to feel better. It's a wedding gift from you to you, worked on by me.

[00:23:40] It helps. And I hope it serves you well. Until the next time, remember that you deserve this. Enjoy the journey and treat yourself with the same level of compassion and care you so freely give to others. Talk to you next week.