Your Wedding, Your Rules: The Most US Wedding, Alyssa's Story

If you’ve ever wondered how to make your wedding feel like home without blowing the budget, this episode’s for you. Alyssa, a day-of coordinator and recent bride, breaks down how she and her husband created a wedding “for the people, by the people,” with a $2,000 budget and a vision focused on meaningful connection—not flashy details. From a four-month engagement to a guest list filled with only their closest crew, Alyssa shares her approach to balancing life goals with an unforgettable celebration that was totally them.

We dive into:

• Creative ways to save without sacrificing the fun (taco bars, Lego centerpieces, and interactive games galore!)
• Building a hype team to keep your vision strong when wedding stress kicks in
• Staying true to what you and your partner want, even when others have big ideas about your day

This episode is loaded with mindset shifts, practical tips, and proof that you don’t need a massive budget or years of planning to pull off a day that’s all about you.

And if you life in the Bay Area and are looking for a Day Of Coordinator, Check her out  on Instagram @perfectmisfitevents

Limited Time Offer: Join a Small Group Coaching Session!

Ready to revolutionize your wedding planning experience? For a limited time, I'm offering exclusive "Sip & Solve" group coaching sessions for just $25!

Here's what you'll get:

• Intimate, supportive conversations with fellow brides
• Breakthrough strategies for your biggest wedding challenges
• Mindset shifts to rediscover the joy in planning
• Actionable steps to move forward with confidence

Spots are extremely limited and fill up fast. Don't miss this chance to transform your wedding planning journey!

To secure your spot, visit: https://alifecoachforbrides.com/group/

Remember, your extraordinary wedding starts right here!

Transcript

Your Wedding Your Rules Series: The Most US Wedding, Alyssa's Story

[00:00:00] Amy: I'm recording on an unseasonably warm late October day, and I'm just going to be real. I'm not complaining whatsoever. I am here for it. And when I'm done recording this intro and outro, I am going for a hike with my second oldest child, my son, and I'm going to love it. I can't wait. I really just want to enjoy as much as this weather as I can.

[00:00:32] So I'm going to take my ass outside and do what I can to feel good for as long as I can and In some kind of strange way, that's kind of what today's episode is all about. I mean, it's not at all. And then also it kind of is, um, hear me out. I want to talk about what feels good for you. And that's what this, Your Wedding, Your Rules series has been [00:01:00] all about.

[00:01:00] Today, you're going to meet a recent bride, Alyssa, and she embodies that idea. Of doing what feels right for you., Planned their own wedding. Very DIY, very short. A launching pad, kind of like Caitlin, which I've never talked to any brides who have done it that quick. And so it's just eye opening to see how many brides are doing it on their own terms already.

[00:01:29] That's kind of what this episode is all about. Doing what feels good and right for you. As always, this is going to be super , casual, laid back, and we're going to just let the conversation take us where it takes us. And I just want to invite you to let what you hear really soak in. And even if it doesn't apply to your life or your experience or your journey [00:02:00] directly, I bet you it resonates in some way.

[00:02:03] And so just think about that and apply to your own life and see if there's any gems that can help you along the way. Anyway. Let's get to it. Enough talking.

[00:02:14] Alyssa, I want to thank you so much for coming on to Hey Bride and being a part of the, your wedding, your rules series. It's awesome. Always a pleasure to talk to people that have recently gotten married, , and you're extra special because you're also a day of coordinators, so you have a whole nother perspective, another layer to add to this conversation.

[00:02:37] Alyssa: Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited. I feel like we had kind of an unconventional wedding and I'm sure that will come up later, , so I just got married in March, just a couple months ago.

[00:02:50] We were engaged. Only four months, um, my now husband proposed actually Halloween weekend. So we're kind of coming up on our [00:03:00] anniversary and because I've been in like event coordinating for so long, I already sort of had this vision about what I wanted and we didn't really need a super long engagement, we were married the first weekend of March and, We got married in a church.

[00:03:16] We both attend, um, a really small church in our area and, um, we looked at different, like, indoor, outdoor, whatever, but we just thought it would be, like, how could we not, you know, with our people and our, Um, you know, the space we knew and, , yeah, I could just talk about it forever.

[00:03:37] Amy: Well, hopefully you give us like the whole rundown. I invited you onto the show because last week I was talking to brides about their wedding vision and the episode title was casting your wedding vision because I think there's a significant difference between having a vision for what you want and actually putting it out there And I think that we kind of [00:04:00] do that through the actions that we take so for me it was like being in my imagination a lot before I actually started planning and really knowing that I I Was listening to myself before I did anything because at first I was talking myself out of what I wanted.

[00:04:21] I had to like really get clear. I would love to hear about your wedding vision, the vision that you had, the four month journey you had to your big day, and then the wedding itself.

[00:04:34] Alyssa: It's so funny that you bring up that, like having that vision and then executing it because a lot of people were asking me, including my maid of honor, what was your wedding aesthetic? And, you know, I think when you sign up on, on the websites, like the knot or whatever, they sort of ask you, you know, they make this mood board for you.

[00:04:57] And my husband and I are [00:05:00] very practical people. And actually even before we got married, we knew sort of in our life plan that we wanted to buy our first home. Actually before we got engaged, we had really been talking about saving for that. And we did all of the early budgeting sort of backwards and accidental because we were on track to buy our first home. Which we just actually, we did our sort of, our timeline is sort of weird.

[00:05:26] We got. engaged at the end of October and starting probably in June, like the previous June, to budget for our home. We got married in March, very low budget wedding. And then we closed on our first home at the end of May. So it was like back to back to back to back. So when we were initially sort of wedding planning, once he proposed and, you know, we had to start thinking about what we wanted.

[00:05:57] I used to actually tell people I want to [00:06:00] elope. I'm trying to save for a home. So, you know, I would have loved the big wedding, but our life is just sort of like unconventional. . And people seem to have such a. reaction to that. It was like, A visceral anger that we weren't having this fabulous, gigantic wedding.

[00:06:21] we have a really big church family and, and they were like, uh, no, like, what's it going to take to make this wedding happen? And we were like, well, kind of everything, because we're not really looking to pay for a big wedding. So that's sort of how it started. And once we finally got into that wedding planning and my maid of honor was like, what's your wedding aesthetic?

[00:06:42] I was like, three. Um, DIY. Uh, she was like, yeah, but is it like beachy or woodsy or Like fairy tale and I was like, hmm Why don't you pick what you want and then let that be your mood board? And then [00:07:00] i'll just stick to like mine. I want it to be fun. I want it to be Uh, like busy. I want people to have things to do.

[00:07:08] I don't want people waiting I want it to be filled with the things that we love so You Really, if you ask what our wedding vision was, it was a, it was a wedding for the people, by the people. The most important thing was to make sure that the people Who loved us and supported us on our love journey were participating.

[00:07:33] So we were very happy to elope. We were like, you know, it's not a huge deal. We could have a reception after we could, you know, make it easy, low key. The people were not having that. When people finally rose up to the occasion to host a wedding for and with us, Our vision was that it felt homey, that it felt, you know, comfortable [00:08:00] between everybody and we didn't invite, you know, our extended family.

[00:08:04] It was really the people who had a job at the wedding, you know, so our, our actual budget. Was probably less than 2, 000. We had a hundred people and we sat down at the very beginning of wedding planning and asked each other what was important and he, for some reason, really. All he cared about was two things, the color scheme, which was weird to me and the food that we eat.

[00:08:35] We're big foodies. During the pandemic, we moved in together and we cooked everything together and we meal planned really well. And I think we found out that cooking is sort of our love language. So food was kind of a big deal to him. You know, one of the things that our early relationship was sort of.

[00:08:55] founded on was Mexican food. We were always either cooking [00:09:00] it or eating it or, you know, exploring. We would go to new cities just to go try different Mexican food. that's like my family, my heritage, and I love it. And I love trying different authentic, you know, versions of whatever that is. We had a taco bar and it was totally low key and it came out for maybe 13 per person ish.

[00:09:24] You know, it was really on the low budget side of things, but it was delicious and everybody was well fed and there were leftovers, which we actually didn't eat. pretty much killed off during our after party. So it was like the perfect situation, you know, it sobered people up really well. But everybody else that had something to offer, we sort of asked up front, you know, would you mind, my husband's in a band and his front man also DJs.

[00:09:52] And we were like, would you mind putting a playlist together? And not only did he, you know, mix up for real. [00:10:00] A serious playlist, but he emceed and he was getting people out on the dance floor and, you know, he was walking around and chatting with people and sort of asking requests and I mean, he really went above and beyond.

[00:10:13] When he asked us initially, you know, what kind of music do you want? We, at the, at the bachelorette trip, the girls put together a playlist of songs that we were all. Dancing to and loved. And, you know, we spent all weekend listening and, uh, and sort of planning. So I think to go back to the initial, what's your vision and how do you execute it, the vision that we had was.

[00:10:39] Something that would be fun, something that would be inclusive of all the people in our life. And then something, I mean, it really killed me. We've been to a couple weddings where you sit, you twiddle your fingers, and you're sort of waiting for things to start. And then, you know, cocktail hour, you have to sort of mingle with people you don't know.

[00:10:59] And, [00:11:00] um, you know, for, for us, like, we're pretty friendly people. That's easy. But, uh, We had a lot of people who are introverted and don't love that. And so we had a lot of things to do. We're both sort of. nerdy and, um, and crafty people. So we had Legos at every table. We went and bought the Lego like, um, like not centerpieces, like succulents.

[00:11:24] And we put them at every table and we were like, please help us build our centerpieces. And it was so interactive and fun and people were busy and we had board games out. We love games. So we had board games out and we're, we're musicians. So we painted a, a guitar white and we had metallic Sharpies and people were passing around the guitar and we could see it, you know, from our sweetheart table and there was always something to do and it was fun. fun. We opened the bar right away. So we're able to drink and we had candies all over.

[00:11:57] And so our vision [00:12:00] wasn't really, I guess, an aesthetic, 

[00:12:02] Amy: It's exactly how I would describe what an, I think you nailed it. Everything you just said is a wedding vision. And I think so many times people confuse an aesthetic with their wedding vision, and you did not. I think how you, what you want to experience, how you want to feel, how you want people to feel, like, how you want it to unfold is how I would describe the wedding vision.

[00:12:32] And I would say, based on what you just shared with us, you hit a home run. Oh, thank you. It sounds so inclusive. It sounds like togetherness. Definitely homie for crying out loud. You had Legos on the table and board games and you guys are passing around a guitar. Brilliant. 

[00:12:51] Alyssa: Something interactive.

[00:12:53] I mean, just because we've been to so many weddings where we felt like, Oh, this is like, like, we love to dress up. [00:13:00] We love, you know, that the camaraderie of a band. Big event, but we were really excited to have something fun. We, we tend to host things. We tend to host Thanksgiving or game nights. And so we love that host feeling.

[00:13:14] Um, but it was really important to me that we also got to enjoy our own day. Exactly. We did a nice job about that, keeping that balance. 

[00:13:22] Amy: Yes. So I would agree with your statement that you had the most you wedding imaginable. Uh, kudos and congratulations. You had a quite the year. That's a lot. A lot has happened in the last 12 months.

[00:13:40] Alyssa: You know, when you, you think your wife is going to, you know, we're very like, um, five year people, three year people, whatever, you know, we got that plan, but it's so weird when things happen and come up and you have to adapt and that's that goes for wedding planning to, you know, we got pretty lucky about our timing.

[00:13:58] I think we got engaged [00:14:00] at the end of October. I didn't realize how much of a serious help it would be to be able to buy things on Black Friday. So right with that timing, you know, as we're like, we're not going to have a wedding, we're trying to buy a house. and everyone's like, no, no, no, we gotta have a wedding.

[00:14:17] I was like, oh my God. Okay. Well, uh, we're not paying full price for anything. I don't want anything expensive. So what, what can we do? What can we get? , what are the deals that we can utilize? And we just lucked out with that timing also. So, I mean, all of the websites that you can buy your outfits, all of the bridesmaids and, , we got ties for the gentlemen and I mean, everything was almost half off for black Friday.

[00:14:43] Amy: I don't, I don't think you were lucky. I think everything worked out just how it was going to and like you knew what you wanted and things unfolded exactly how they should in order to make it come to life how it did.

[00:14:55] So originally your and your now husband's [00:15:00] thoughts on a wedding where, yeah, we want to get married to each other, but also we're saving for this, so we don't want to use our budget for this, for that.

[00:15:09] And so you plan to elope, and then you shared it with your people, and they were like, oh no, let's have a wedding. And it doesn't sound like you gave up what you wanted for what they wanted. It sounds like you're like, fine, we will do that because we would love to, but But then, like you said in the very beginning, that you're helping us do this.

[00:15:30] So you're not sacrificing what you want, you're just expanding. 

[00:15:35] Alyssa: Correct. Yeah. We didn't, I mean, to be fair, it wasn't our initial plan to elope. We just, as we were, I mean, in the very early stages, you know, we got engaged on a Saturday evening and then Sunday morning, you know, we're telling everybody while we're at church and, you know, showing off the ring and people are like, Oh, what are you going to do?

[00:15:56] Our wedding is going to be here and. We were like, well, we haven't [00:16:00] even told our parents yet, so we're not sure, but honestly, like, right now, or at least up until now, our goal has been to save for our first home, so we might elope, and right away, people were like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you cannot do that, so it was interesting because we went home that afternoon, and, I mean, of course, after we called our parents, we need to let everybody know, but after everybody knew.

[00:16:27] We had to really have that chat pretty early on, like, well, what do we want to do? And, and we did want to celebrate, like I said, we, I mean, we had a hundred people, we have a, a big support system, people that wanted to be involved. So, you know, we, we did want to have some sort of celebration, but I think in my mind, it could have either waited until after we bought our home or it could have just been the like a reception It wasn't like we sat down and we're like, let's elope.

[00:16:56] Let's save this money Let's do the most low budget [00:17:00] thing we could find It was more like, okay, well, how do we still stick to our budget of this house situation and still feel celebrated and, and give the people what they want?

[00:17:16] Amy: It sounds like it turned out to be what everybody wanted.

[00:17:19] It sounds like a beautiful, beautiful experience overall, the whole thing. So as you were You had a four month engagement, which I think is funny because just a couple weeks ago, everybody heard from a bride named Caitlin, who also happened to be a DIY bride with a fairly, her budget was less than 3, 000, but they really didn't spend anything, and they had their wedding in less than 30 days.

[00:17:48] Yeah. And so, oh, I think it's just such a great reminder for people who think you need to have a year to a year and a half or two years to have a wedding and you have [00:18:00] to have a huge savings or put yourself in debt in order to do it. You are evidence that that is not the case. 

[00:18:07] Alyssa: Depending on where you live. Also, we're in a very. high population. , we're in the Bay area. So in California, the wedding industry is unbelievable here. We initially, we did the like bridal expos I did all the research. I followed all the wedding people on, on social media and the one of, I think it was maybe less than a week, we had been engaged.

[00:18:33] I heard on the radio that the median price. For weddings in our area in california was Like 41, 000 and I was thinking to myself like we would be lucky to have that money go towards our down payment. And I would trade that, you know, heartbeat 41, 000 to me. I mean, I, I grew up not very wealthy and [00:19:00] neither did my husband.

[00:19:01] We're both very humble people. We shop at Costco and we meal plan and we cook, we don't eat out. You know, we, that number to me just floored me. And there's so much pressure in your area, I think too, makes a big difference, but at least for us, you know, as we're going to the expos and. People are giving you the business cards and, you know, they're like, special, half off, and it's, still 30, 000 for your venue.

[00:19:28] You're like, uh, uh, um, I can't do this. I can't afford to get married. So, there's so much pressure when you go and you start your journey. But I think We also another reason that we had a short engagement was because I've been planning things for so long and actually had a lot of decor, and I already knew exactly.

[00:19:49] I don't want to say where we cut costs but I think we knew what, what we could have afforded. To spend like the food, like that's something we didn't want to do. [00:20:00] We didn't want to ask people to cook or spend so much time. Uh, like beforehand, trying to figure out how to feed a hundred people. You know, that was one thing we were like, we can afford to pass this off and we can cut costs, you know, in the decor area, we can do the Legos and let people build the centerpieces or, you know, we can provide this or that.

[00:20:24] It's such a tricky industry because Anything, I mean, you hear it all the time as a bride, anything that has the, the tag wedding on it is like exponentially like blown up in price. Um, pretty unnecessarily, you know, I, I got my hair done by my aunt the day of and because I was shopping around, you know, just to see what's out there.

[00:20:48] Oh my gosh. And they were like, Oh, wedding styles are, you know, 300 plus per person. And I'm thinking to myself, I. I don't think anybody knows my hair as well as I do. I'm pretty sure I could do it for cheaper, you know, but it's, [00:21:00] do, do you want to spend the time doing it or, you know, the stress of doing it yourself?

[00:21:05] What if you mess up? What if you do that? You know, so I can understand how some people want, you know, to pass off. certain things, but for the most part, it was easy for us to decide what's worth spending the money on, you know, to pass off the stress, to pass off the the time commitment versus what it was worth, and it's easier when you think about things with a price tag, you know, like I could do my own hair, you know, what is that taking 40 minutes as opposed to 300?

[00:21:36] Like, okay, so if you think about it in, in terms of how much percentage your down payment is, you know, there's no question. 

[00:21:44] Amy: Yeah. That is, that is so, so, so true. The wedding tax is real. Even being part of the wedding industry in a kind of a way, because being a life coach for brides, the bride part makes me [00:22:00] kind of a part of that.

[00:22:01] Um, in a different kind of way. And it is atrocious. It's unfortunate. I don't really know what to say about it. And sometimes I will hear vendors, especially on social media, uh, because like I'm following certain hashtags and there's even the mindset of vendors sometimes is just confusing to me when it comes to their charges because a bride might push back on the price of something and I'm a firm believer you can charge whatever you want, but you can't charge what you're worth because there's no such thing.

[00:22:36] Like there's we decide what's what we're willing to pay for something and that is what makes it worth it worth it to us uh, so Yeah, I don't really know where I was going with that But I just want everybody to know like you don't have to You don't have to approach your wedding Like, you're going to spend [00:23:00] the average cost in your area.

[00:23:02] In my area, the average cost of a 100 person wedding is 24, 000. I live in Metro Detroit. And even that, that is a lot. That's a lot for everybody. I, and I think as a society, we just get so used to paying that much, like everybody else is doing it. So it just becomes a norm. But if it's making you uncomfortable, if it's putting you in a financial hardship, it's not normal to spend that much money.

[00:23:29] If you have it, by all means, do what you want to do. Like, there's no shame and no shade around any of it, but don't let how much things cost be a limitation for your dream wedding, I guess is what I'm trying to say. 

[00:23:42] Alyssa: One of the things that I frequently see online, or when I get inquiries about events, is that You know, what, what kind of, uh, like side work should I be looking for, or what kind of side hustle can I start?

[00:23:59] Or do you think [00:24:00] it's smart if I take out a loan? And I just, it is so baffling to me. I understand the importance of celebrating your union and your love, but I'm such a firm believer that. If you don't already have that feeling and if the people in your life aren't contributing to that feeling, you know, the, it's, I mean, it's a little bonkers to me that you feel, sometimes you feel like you have to pay for that feeling.

[00:24:30] And to me that really, that was the wedding vision, you know, for us, it was only the people who are actively So I think the people who are involved or supportive of us now are coming and only the people who want to contribute or want to be involved or can somehow make this a day more fun are going to be involved.

[00:24:56] I mean, it's it. That's another hard thing. You know, your guest [00:25:00] list is stressful also because you pay per person and you know, the price tag adds up so quickly. But I think our vision was Strictly about that love and support and making sure we maintained it throughout the whole process, not just at the wedding or the, um, the party, you know, but beforehand and during and after.

[00:25:24] And I think that was our, if we could pinpoint what the vision was, it was about the like mutual fun support, love celebration, like that, that was our vision and people lose sight of that. I think So quickly because of the pressures of, you know, you're, you're the bridal industry or, you know, what people have in terms of expectations for a wedding.

[00:25:50] And so it's easy to get lost and it's easy to feel like, well, I should probably spend a little bit more just so I can have this and appease the masses. And, you know, I want the day [00:26:00] to be beautiful and I want the memories captured. And, it gets a little overwhelming when you look at how much It can cost to have the perfect wedding and, and it doesn't even really, in my opinion, it doesn't really matter what's perfect.

[00:26:15] Is that like, no stress for the bride, no stress for the groom, no stress for anybody. You know, if things don't flow smoothly, which of course something always goes wrong, you know, how you handle it really matters. 

[00:26:28] Amy: Yeah, that's actually a question that I have for you is as somebody who has over a decade experience as an event coordinator and over a year now of exclusive, you know, in wedding industry.

[00:26:40] How, like, what advice do you have for brides on the day of? If, like, how can, what advice do you have to help them to experience what they envisioned for the day itself, if or when different stressors 

[00:26:55] Alyssa: come 

[00:26:56] Amy: up? 

[00:26:57] Alyssa: Oh my gosh. I cannot recommend this enough, [00:27:00] and I feel so blessed to have had this, exactly. Find your hype people.

[00:27:07] Find your validators. Okay. So in any example, like, no matter where you are in the process. early planning, during the wedding, when things are exploding, whatever situation you're in, you have to have someone in your mind who can validate your feelings, or fix the problem, or hype you up, no matter what.

[00:27:32] So early in our planning, we had a couple snafus, and that's fine, because I can go to the internet, and I can be like, hey, Bride here, having some feelings, what does the world, World Wide Web, think about this? Like, consult your hive mind, because I guarantee at least half of the world that's looking at your question is going to be like, uh, same, had that problem too, uh, let me [00:28:00] validate your feelings.

[00:28:00] And even if you get the other half too, like, um, you might not be right, once you start to see it and see other people's perspectives, it's easy to be like, well. I either have to change my mind now or find a new solution, or I feel validated and I'm going to do what I want to do so consult. the people who will validate your feelings.

[00:28:22] Find someone who's like a problem solver. You know, for me, I had a maid of honor and a man of honor. I have two best friends and they are equally good at different things. And one of them is a problem solver and one of them is my hype person. So it was great to be like, what are we going to do about this or that?

[00:28:42] And one of them would be like, we do whatever you want. Cuz that day is gonna be awesome and you're amazing and what do you really want to do? Let's make it happen. And the other one's like well logistically speaking. We should this will save you more money This will save you more time. This will do this and that whatever so find your people who will bring [00:29:00] peace to your process That is the one thing I could recommend to anybody, anywhere, at any time, for anything having to do with a wedding.

[00:29:10] Find your validators. 

[00:29:12] Amy: Even outside of your wedding, have those people in your life. That is great advice. I'm really, I'm really glad, I'm glad I asked, but before we end our conversation, I have one other question. As a recent bride and somebody who's in the wedding industry and works with brides, what's your advice to them or to brides who feel like their vision is getting lost in the, all the moving parts that come with planning a wedding? 

[00:29:41] Alyssa: This may not be for everyone, but if I could recommend it to everyone to give it a try, this would be my advice.

[00:29:50] Consult your partner. about the wedding vision. I think at the beginning of wedding planning, it's really easy [00:30:00] to get lost in the camaraderie and the dreaminess of this like perfect wedding that you you want. But as things develop, of course, there will be either budget constraints or disappointments or you know, whatever it is.

[00:30:20] So I think that as long as in that process, You just stick to each other to be like, God, what a bummer, this, uh, this, these people can't come, or this venue's not available on the date we want. You have to adapt in life anyway. At least in this process, you guys can do it together and find a new situation.

[00:30:45] And the reason I say it may not be for everybody is because I often see a lot of people that are like, Oh, my future husband doesn't want anything to do with it. He's just giving me the checkbook and whatever. And so maybe it's not, it's not a feasible thing. Like, Oh, he doesn't really care. [00:31:00] Like whatever.

[00:31:00] He just wants me to figure it out, whatever. But I think, I think the most important thing for me for brides is not to get lost in the vision, but to remember why you're doing it in the first place. My best advice would be, you know, if you can, Pick your person and, and consult with your person because , there's things that are unpredictable.

[00:31:24] You just, you go with the flow or you don't, and, you know, have your sadness about it. Um, but pick yourself up and remember why you're doing it. For me, it was because I love my person and, and nothing, you know, the, the venue, the date, nothing was more upsetting than the fact that. Maybe we, we couldn't get married.

[00:31:45] Like there's nothing when you put it in perspective. That as you lose your vision or build your vision or you know, whatever it is that you're trying to do You just keep that perspective of why you're having the vision

[00:31:59] Amy: [00:32:00] I think that advice is for everybody even if their partner isn't as involved in the process because this actually has nothing to do with the process and Everything to do with the relationship and how you support each other and what?

[00:32:14] fabulous opportunity to practice ahead of marriage. How you're going to navigate stress and disappointment and sometimes pure chaos. Oh, thank you so much. Is there anything else that you want to leave with Brides before we end, or do you feel pretty complete?

[00:32:35] Alyssa: I guess maybe the only thing that we didn't chat about that Might have been helpful. I think at the beginning, like for me is when you don't know where to start, because this is a lot of the questions that I get to. I always hear, uh, I just don't even know where to start. I don't even know where to begin.

[00:32:57] It feels very overwhelming. So at the [00:33:00] beginning of the process, I would say there's a lot of resources out there. It's hard to sort of know You know, you can buy the book, how to plan the wedding or how, you know, things all brides should know, or, you know, where to start is like, before you deep dive into things and get like crazy on your Pinterest board, consult your partner about the most important things.

[00:33:24] I sort of lived my life by non negotiables. So there's some things like non negotiable, like I'll never budget toilet paper. Like it's gotta be. You know, the most ply, the most, you know, I don't care how much I spend on it, but I get things from the Dollar Tree all the time, so for me, there's non negotiables in all stages of life.

[00:33:44] So I would sit down at the beginning of the process and say, what are your non negotiables? What is it that. We're not spending more than this much. We are not compromising about this date. We're not, [00:34:00] you know, doing X, Y, or Z. Once you build your foundation, this is something I didn't really understand for my own wedding until after the fact, after we had sort of started.

[00:34:12] Getting excited and, you know, doing the Pinterest board, but building your foundation about the non negotiables. We have to have a DJ or we have to have this, or no matter what, I want the best photographer or the date, whatever. Pick your non negotiables. And build the foundation and things seem to happen so much easier when you can consult that non negotiable foundation that it was so important for us to remember, like, we're trying not to spend so much money.

[00:34:43] Do we care about the day? No, not really. Do we care about the venue? No, not really. Okay. Well, you know, here's then as long as we're staying in budget. You know, then, then that's all that matters. So another thing that I, I really cannot stress enough to brides is before you start, before you get overwhelmed, [00:35:00] build your foundation and that's non negotiable on both sides and it really helps the process.

[00:35:06] Amy: I like that. Are you actively taking on new clients for this year or next year? And if so, is there a place where people can find you? 

[00:35:16] Alyssa: Both. I'm on Facebook, , and Instagram. I'm just starting up my, business Instagram. So I'm not sure if the name is going to change, but right now it's Perfect Misfits Events.

[00:35:27] And I think that's even more telling of the kind of 

[00:35:32] Amy: experience 

[00:35:32] Alyssa: that we had. Yeah, we're we're go with the flow, silly. I, like, wanted to be personable. And so Was our wedding perfect? No, it wasn't like super fancy by any means. I mean, I felt fancy and everybody looked very beautiful in our photos, but it was super low budget.

[00:35:53] Would you know that by looking at it? I don't think so. So, I mean, for us, it was, you know, it was weird. It was funky. [00:36:00] Our music was awesome. The Legos were super fun and we had things to do. We had, uh, liquor filled chocolates and it was, yes, things were just. Goofy and it was the best day ever. So I want that experience for the people that I work with too.

[00:36:18] So I thought there's not a more perfect name than perfect misfit, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't want a brand new, beautiful dress. I, I recycled a dress and, you know, you can make it your own and still feel like a million bucks and not have to spend a million bucks. 

[00:36:35] Amy: If you live in the Bay Area and you're looking for that type of support, definitely check out the show notes because I'll link your information there.

[00:36:43] Alyssa, thank you so much again for your time. 

[00:36:46] Alyssa: Good luck to everyone. All my beautiful brides and I just cannot express how, how grateful I am to have been here today. 

[00:36:54] Amy: Ah, what a nice conversation I just got to have with Alyssa. [00:37:00] It was really fun for me to go back and think about the things that we talked about. I loved how Alyssa and her husband put their own spin on their wedding day.

[00:37:13] They originally were going to elope because their financial priority was buying a house. And when all the people that they care about started saying, Oh, you can't, you got to have a wedding. And they were like, okay, make it happen for us. And they did. What a wild concept. Is it anybody's job to do these things for us?

[00:37:36] Absolutely no, it's not. But when we are asked to alter our path, when we're asked to do things different from what we plan to, and , we're like, okay, great, we will, however, We're going to be leaning on you then. And they like stepped up and made it happen.

[00:37:57] And that is incredible. That is, [00:38:00] what? I actually, I have a similar but different experience in my own wedding. I'll save that for another episode. It wasn't like an ultimatum type of thing, which nor was this. It was just, Um, it was, uh, when, how I thought things were going to go and how I was going to show up and what I was going to be doing didn't work out how I thought it would or hoped because I got super sick.

[00:38:27] Everybody there like rose to the occasion to support us. And I think that there are moments like this over and over and over in our life and we don't always notice or acknowledge them. So anyways, I just want to like. Kudos to you girl for asking for what you want and for saying yes, we will do things differently because yeah We'd like to have a wedding.

[00:38:48] It's just not our main priority And if we're going to do this, we're doing it together. And I just love that you had the Audacity cuz some people [00:39:00] would be like the audacity and I'm like, yes I'm I love that you guys did that 

[00:39:06] the best part is that they stayed focused on other life goals, like buying their first house, because it was a very big deal. That was a priority for them. And I just Can't help but say or think, like, isn't that what this series is all about? Your wedding? Your rules? Yeah, it is about defining what really matters most to you and then making decisions that line up with that.

[00:39:36] So again, thank you, Alyssa. Make sure you guys check out the show notes if you want to, if you live in the Bay area and you're thinking about using her services, I mean, go on and do that. I think you would have a person who brings not just the experience of the industry, but the perspective of a bride. I think that would really, really be beneficial [00:40:00] for anyone.

[00:40:01] Ah. I'm going to end this and get my butt outside and enjoy this warm October day. Until the next time, there is no one right way to have a wedding. Keep following what feels good for you, period. See you next time. . Bye. 

[00:40:23] 

[00:40:23] Amy: That was incredible. 

[00:40:29] Alyssa: Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. We did it, Alyssa.