You're Not Failing You're Figuring It Out Pep Talk

Feeling like planning your wedding is slowly unhinging you?

In this pep talk (that lowkey doubled as therapy for me), I’m calling bullshit on the pressure, perfectionism, and performance we’re sold around this season. If you’re overwhelmed, unsure, fed up, or just flat-out resisting the process, this one’s for you.

I get it. I’ve lived it. And I coach brides through it every damn day.

We’re talking:

• Why it feels so hard (and why you’re not broken)
• The real reason you’re second-guessing your decisions
• How to get unstuck when you’re deep in people-pleasing mode
• The actual way to plan a wedding you don’t regret later
• How to start backing yourself, even when it’s messy

Ready to stop letting outside pressure call the shots and start doing this YOUR WAY:

Links + Resources:

👉 Explore Coaching: https://alifecoachforbrides.com/coaching/

👉 Sign up for the Hey Bride newsletter: https://alifecoachforbrides.com/newsletter/

👉 Catch the Wedding Wellbeing series (Episodes 1–4)

👉 And I can’t leave out the video: Watch Here

If you needed this Pep-Talk

🎙 Subscribe so you don’t miss future pep talks

📲 Share this with your bride bestie who needs to hear it

💬 DM me on IG @alifecoachforbrides — I live for a good vent sesh or “WTF just happened” wedding moment

Until the next time, remember: Your wedding. Your way. Always.

Transcript

[00:00:00]
 Amy Cloonan: You're going to figure it out by realizing that the right way is whatever way feels aligned to the experience you're trying to create.

Hey bride, welcome to a podcast that gets real about weddings, the challenges you face, and everything in between. I'm Amy, a life coach on a mission to help you stress less, stay aligned to your vision, and have an experience that actually means something to you. This isn't just about creating an amazing day. It's about stepping into your power and building a life that feels just as good as it looks. And if that gets you fired up, you're in the right place. Let's get started.

Today, I needed a serious pep talk. I'm doing something new-ish. I've shown up on camera a few times throughout the years that I have been a podcast host. But let me tell you, I am still feeling very resistant to this. This is just a little different. One-on-one—like me and you or me with a few people that I've already connected with—totally easy. But something about recording myself on a camera, not sure how I'm going to be received or judged or perceived... yeah, not my favorite. And it's kind of scary.

But here I am, showing up, giving you a pep talk that I think you need—after giving myself, dare I say, one hell of a good one.

Anyway, if you're feeling resistant toward planning your wedding or making big decisions or just communicating things that you want to say to other people... if you're feeling stressed or worried in any way that you're not doing it right, or that there's even a right way to do it at all—give today's episode a listen. I think it's going to hit home for a lot of you, including myself. So I won’t make you wait any longer.

Let’s dive in.

If you are planning a wedding and you are wondering why it feels so damn hard when it's supposed to be the best time of your life... I hate to break it to you: for a lot of people, it’s actually the opposite.

Trust me. I know. I am a life coach for brides. And I married myself.

The thing nobody is telling you—which irritates the hell out of me. Like seriously, people, why aren’t we talking to each other about this? I will tell you the thing no one else is willing to say, but I definitely am: you are probably going to face challenges. You're probably going to face some things that you can normally avoid, ignore, or sweep under the rug because you’re dealing with people.

People are so much fun, and we all have good ideas and like to insert them in other people’s weddings. Some of us. Not me. Well, I don’t know. I’m gonna try not to.

You’re planning what is said to be the most important day of your life—which also, no. I call bullshit. But it is important because it’s important to you. And also, like, you’re making a huge commitment. So yeah, it matters.

The thing is... you don’t figure out how to do this by overthinking things or indecision. You don’t figure out what’s right for you by people-pleasing, for sure. And you don’t even figure out how to do this by hiring the best wedding planner there is in your town—although it might help.

You figure it out by doing it. By trying, tweaking, falling out of your mother-in-law’s good graces because you refused to allow those extra 20 invites. Sound familiar?

You're going to figure it out by realizing that the right way is whatever way feels aligned to the experience you're trying to create. That’s it.

And P.S., also, I am not just talking about the wedding that you’re planning. I’m talking about this entire journey. All of this matters. No pressure, though. I’m not trying to add stress to your life. I promise. I just want you to hear this really clearly:

If it feels messy right now—if you’re unsure or hesitant, overwhelmed, or just frankly fucking fed up with it—welcome to the club. You’re not alone.

There are tons of brides planning a wedding right now that are feeling exactly like you. You're in the Facebook groups, like, you see them. Y’all are venting. Y’all are struggling. And you’re also helping each other out.

That’s what I want to do right now.

Please remember—no matter what day it is, no matter what’s gone wrong, no matter what challenge you face, no matter who you pissed off—you are not doing this wrong. You, ma’am, you’re in the middle of building something that has never existed before.

Your wedding, your way.

I think this period of your life—this transitional period, this chaos that you are in—is pivotal to the person you’re becoming. But you’re not doing it wrong.

So I think this is worth talking about.

You’ve probably been told that there is a right version of doing this. No, there’s not. I call bullshit. Anyone saying that—let it go in one ear and out the other. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Don’t even entertain them.

Do you.

As hard as that is, as uncomfortable as it makes you feel, and no matter who you rub wrong in the process. Seriously, for the sake of all that is good and right in this world—say no to what you do not want and say yes to what you do.

Let’s practice together.

Yes to what you want.
 No to what you don’t.

Because if you don’t start now, when will it stop? When will it end? Never? Ten years down the road? That is just resentment waiting to build. Start planting the seeds for the person you’re becoming right now—today—while you’re in the middle of this.

I mean, hell, isn’t that what I’m doing right now by showing up on this camera, not knowing anything? Not knowing what I look like because I’ve been covered up by my notes? Like, ah—yeah, it’s scary. Yeah, I’m uncomfortable. Yeah, I know my hair’s not perfect, and I know I can be critiqued.

And also, it doesn’t matter because I’m supporting the woman I’m becoming. I’m supporting my dreams, and I’m supporting the things that I feel called to do.

At the end of the day, that’s what matters.

I need you to do the same.

Because what makes this process hard isn’t even the process itself—it’s the thoughts that you have about it. Your beliefs.

The thoughts that I’m having about showing up today for the first time in a while led me to second-guess myself, to question if I should wait, if I should go do something first, if I should prepare myself better.

But that’s not in alignment with who I am as a woman or as a human being.

I’m me. If you haven’t figured that out by now—I’m quirky. I’m eccentric in some ways. I’m socially awkward. Like, you know what? I’m not polished. I’m not all primped up.

I can be, if I choose to be. But that’s not even what I want for this conversation that we’re having through Hey Bride podcast. I want it to feel like we’re together just talking, like girlfriends.

Isn’t that what you need?

I know community is what I need. And that’s what makes this something I want to keep doing.

So I had to get over my own shit. I had to coach myself through it. Even though I had thoughts about looking crazy, I said fuck it.

And I need you to say fuck it, too.

Why?

Because what you want is always going to be worth it.

Since I brought it up, let’s spend a minute or two on the subject of our thoughts—because this is very important.

The stories your brain is telling about how you go about planning your wedding—the choices that you make—it is influencing the actions that you’ll take. And those actions directly create your results.

That means if you end up one or two years down the road after your wedding and deeply regretting the amount of money you spent or the whole everything—the event—if you have wedding regret, that’s why.

And it’s kind of on you.

Tough love. I know it’s not easily digested. But it’s true.

We have a voice. We have a choice.

If you’re thinking, “If I tell my mother-in-law no to all those extra invites, she’s going to be pissed, and I might drive a wedge between her and her son”—that is going to make you feel some type of way.

Tell me I’m wrong. You can’t. Because it’s so true. You know it’s true. That’s why sometimes we just go along with things.

I don’t know exactly what you’re feeling about the situation you’re in. It’s probably something like guilt or worry, doubt, maybe fear. Like, some people will say, “Oh, we’re not funding your wedding.” It can be that serious.

But you’ve got to put your foot down.

So from this day forward, regardless of how scary it feels, I’m inviting you—no, I’m encouraging you—to start making choices that you feel good about. Choices that honor the person you’re becoming.

And does it get easier?

Yes and no. But mostly yes. It just takes time.

But guess what? Practice makes progress. So start practicing right now.

Make choices that you can stand behind. Choices that honor your future self. Because if you don’t, you are letting yourself down in order to make other people happy.

And frankly, that sucks.

I don’t want that for you. I don’t want that for me. I don’t want that for anybody.

If it feels impossible based on what you’ve experienced up until this day, go check out the first four episodes of Hey Bride. It’s called Wedding Wellbeing.

If you haven’t prioritized well-being, that is also making this journey feel shitty. Like, it’s not helping. It’s making matters worse. It is self-sabotage.

Your choices and how you support yourself shape your experience.

And let me tell you—when you start changing up on people, they get pissed. Not all people, but some people.

It’s human to want to belong.

But if you’re going to be the woman you want to become—the woman that you already are—you’re going to have to assert yourself. And you’re going to have to practice courage.

Eventually, you’ll become really confident at doing things that today terrify you. And then you’ll do things that scare you down the road. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.

Okay, if this resonated with you, make sure you subscribe to this podcast wherever you go to listen—follow, subscribe, just do the thing so that you don’t miss out on future pep talks like this.

And if you know a bride that you think it could help—sharing is caring, so definitely send it their way.

But if you’re ready to go deeper and you’re looking for something more one-on-one, go to my website and check out coaching, book a consult, sign up for the Hey Bride newsletter. The link is in the show notes for all of that.

Until next time, remember: Your wedding. Your way. Always.